I am a verbal processor. I need to say things out loud in order to best understand them. So I end up talking to myself alot. In the shower. While walking the dogs. When no one else is home.
But most of the time, my thoughts don’t get very far. They just cycle around as the problem seemingly increases and a solution moves farther away. My closest friends know that when I call them to discuss a problem, they usually only need to listen long enough and I’ll usually figure things out on my own.
I believe that asking for help offers two benefits. The obvious one is that you are engaging another person’s higher level thinking to provide a solution that your brain may not be able to reach at that moment. The less obvious benefit is the connection to another person. Sometimes just connecting to someone else who cares is enough to break through the cycle and help you re-regulate.
***There is usually no need to reinvent the wheel when creating activities that teach or reinforce social and emotional learning. Many of these lessons have been in circulation for years. In fact, if a student is familiar with the activity, it provides even greater opportunity to focus on the SE skill being explored***
Music
Musical Note Go Fish
Object: To practice asking for help from others.
Supplies: Pianos or keyboards, slips of papers with musical phrases
Process: Start by assigning each student a note (A, B, C, D, E, F, G). Let students know that they can ONLY play the note they are assigned. Hand out a musical phrase to each student (being sure to give them a phrase that includes their assigned note) and invite them to seek a partner who can help them play their phrase. (i.e. "I need a G, are you able to help me?" "Yes, I have a G"/"No, I do not have a G")
Once the student finds someone with the note they need, the two students will approach the piano and play the musical phrase together on the piano. Students may be given a new phrase in order to ask for help again. The class can play several rounds as this or increase the number of students needed to work together to play the given musical phrase.
Discussion questions: How did it feel to ask for help? Once you found a classmate to help you, how did you feel? Other than asking for a classmate to help you, did you need to ask for help in other ways?
Drama
Excuse me, could somebody help me?
Object: To practice asking and offering help
Supplies: scenario cards
Process: The teacher will create a number of cards with various tricky situations (ie, getting stuck in a puddle of tar, hanging onto the edge of a cliff, jumping onto a chair to get away from a mouse). Students should calmly and quietly walk around the room as if they are just going about their business. Sneakily, the teacher will hand one student a card who will then need to mime what is on the card before calling out, "Excuse me, could somebody help me? I am stuck in a puddle of tar/hanging onto the edge of a cliff!"
Another student can come to their rescue. While pantomiming a solution to the problem, the student can share, “I am helping by throwing you a rope! (or other fitting solution). Invite any student who has a solution to jump in following the first. Once everyone who has a solution has participated, reset and begin again.
Discussion question: How did it feel to ask for help? How did it feel to offer help? When are sometimes in life when we might want to ask for help? Who are people you can ask for help from?
Visual arts
With one hand tied behind my back
Object: To face having to ask for help
Supplies: paper, wooden block or cardboard box, string or rubber bands, brayer, printing ink
Process: Demonstrate how to create rubberband/string block prints. Invite students to get supplies needed for the project and then sit down to signal they are ready to begin. Break students into two even groups.
Issue the challenge. "This is a pretty simple project, but can you do it with one hand tied behind your back?" Explain to students that they will only be permitted to use one hand during this activity. They will need to keep the other hand in their pocket or behind their backs for the duration of the project. "Half of you will begin your project while the other half will be assistants. We will switch after 5 minutes. Be sure to ask for help in order to finish your project on time!"
Set a timer for 5 minutes once they begin. Switch groups and set the timer for the second group.
Discussion questions: When did you need to ask for help? How did you ask for help? What was the hardest part? How did the helpers feel being asked to help?